In which aspects of life should relationship compatibility be important?
Have you ever seen two people together with no relationship compatibility at all? Maybe, yes but did they ever last? Being with someone does not only pertain to you two being physically with each other. It should also mean you’re a couple with a strong sense of togetherness.
Compatible couple isn’t to say that two people are absolutely the same in every way, it’s more on they have shared similarity that makes them a great match. There are at least four significant aspects of relationship compatibility according to Ana Psychology, creator of Real Life Applications of Psychology by Ana on Youtube.
How your individual values relate
Core Values
Core values are a huge part of everyone as a human being. Values must be one of the important things you have in harmony with your partner. It’s a key piece that makes a person and a life partner. It’s crucial to remind yourself that someone’s values may possibly shift as they grow older and it is not usually something we must have the power to change.
As an individual, you basically act in accordance with your own values and not just in consonance with your partner’s. Thus, it is good to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same values as you. People tend to be attracted to someone who cares about the same things they care about.
They may be able to adjust with your ways and values at first, but there are possibilities that they meet another person they don’t have to adjust their beliefs for.
Religion and Culture
Strong values in relationship compatibility embody two major areas– religion and culture. This is where a person’s ideals are likely rooted from. Thus, having a partner who braces the same beliefs add a pleasing balance to their relationship.
Did you know: A research shows that 39% of Americans married since 2010 have a spouse who is in a different religious group.
When you are in a relationship with someone who has different religion than you, you should, presumably, discuss whether you want to have a child. If yes, how would you raise the child? Like, as parents are you open for your child to choose on their own when they are the right age? Or do both or at least one of you want to raise the kid in a certain religious belief?
Religious differences don’t always spell doom for relationships, but they can lead to arguments and tensions. Religiously mixed couples should be proactive about addressing the role faith will play in their family life, according to experts on religion and romance.
Yes, you can be in union with a person who’s of a different religion, culture, and background as you… as long as you have mutual and not totally contradicting values and you both respect your differences. Before anything else you and your significant other must be on the same page when it comes to things that matter.
The way you communicate with each other
You and your partner’s communication styles
Vital piece of a happy and successful relationship is constant communication. You each have a communication style that must complement each other. The four basic communication styles are passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive. These styles may lead you to either just clash or balance one another especially in arguments.
Passive communicators basically yield to others, they don’t like confrontation so they are likely to avoid getting into one. While aggressive communicators lead commands and dominate a conversation. A weird combination of the first two, passive-aggressive. These communicators tend to keep everything to themselves even when they know what they want. They look and seem passive but their thoughts and ways can be aggressive. Then there’s assertive communicators who psychologists or people in general prefer. They are the most effective communicators because they know what they need and can incorporate it while also considering your needs.
How you talk to each other
You and your partner may have different communication styles but one great thing is that you can both learn to change your styles to be compatible. Compatibility in communication style may also refer to one’s likeness to talk or stay silent.
Some people like to keep their mouth shut while some just wouldn’t sleep until everything is out in the open. This can also relate to the loudness or softness of your voice when you communicate.
Your manner of communicating in a relationship is important because it’s your consistent connection with each other. It’s best to have someone that blends with that or at the very least, sympathetic to your way of communication.
Long-term Relationship Goals
Own personal goals
We may have some ways to best understand how you can contemplate if your long-term goals are compatible. First, acknowledge that you and your partner have dreams of your own. Next, know that you too probably both have goals that you want to achieve only with someone you want to be with for the rest of your life.
There are aspirations you can figure out along the way versus those that need not delay– example: one wants a family someday, one doesn’t. In the essence of discovering and sharing long-term goals together, there will be goals that:
You are willing to let go without resenting the other
You feel so strongly that you cannot just throw it away
And then, there’s the willingness to compromise
If one of your shared goals is to be with each other for a lifetime, you would want to build a life and future together knowing that there will be multiple adjustments.
Either you and your partner dream similar goals in life or you both have readiness and awareness to arrange what works with the two of you. If in these long-term goals adjustments, it feels difficult to find a middle ground and both are unwilling to compromise, this may be a factor of huge incompatibility that can possibly affect your relationship along the way.
Keep in mind the important things you’d wanna ask your partner in the beginning of your relationship. Couples, both interested in entering a serious relationship, should be able to discuss one another’s long-term plans. Lay out expectations on which role your partner will play in those goals earlier in the relationship.
Interests
Shared Interests
Most people prefer to choose a partner whom they share interests with among any other factors of relationship compatibility. Compromise really is a solution you should be willing to do throughout the course of your relationship. Interests do not only bear upon big dreams, this also seep in the little things your partner loves doing.
Willingness to Compromise
There are everyday routines of your significant other you will learn and be able to live with. There are hobbies and interests you don’t have in common with but wouldn’t be such a big deal. This happens when you are not utterly against doing it with them (especially when your presence adds up to their happiness when they get to do their hobbies with you). It’s a matter of compromise.
Ending Thoughts
You and your partner’s differences are what makes you both the person that you are, these differences should at least complement each other and not be completely opposing. You don’t need to be exactly alike to be compatible.
Compatibility cannot be faked, which is why it is notably necessary to figure out whether your values, way of communication, long-term plans, and interests are compatible.
Relationship compatibility is supposed to be the harmony of all your characteristics and values; an extension and stronger bond of your relationship chemistry. Two people perfect for each other does not imply two-peas-in-a-pod; you two are a perfect fit as long as you are in sync with one another and you are equally committed in supporting, loving, and respecting your partner.